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Want to know how to deal with a toxic work environment? You’ve come to the right guy.
Over the years, I’ve worked in a number of of toxic workplaces. I’ve seen it all:
Abusive and vindictive management…
Colleagues that gaslight everyone…
Politics that sucked me in and spit me out…
I could go on, but I’ll save it for the rest of the article. I’ll walk through the signs of unhealthy workplace culture and give you a step-by-step process to deal with the toxicity for good.
Spotting the signs of a toxic workplace
The first step to dealing with a toxic work environment is to educate yourself on what toxicity looks like.
I’ll cover the most common signs of a toxic workplace below, but I recommend this article about understanding coded language at work as a companion to this section.
Toxicity often comes from the top down
Managers and leaders have more responsibility in the business—so they also hold more accountability when it comes to toxic culture.
In some cases, upper management will be the main source of the bad behavior; they might be outwardly abusive or subtly manipulative.
But even if your boss isn’t the source of the toxicity, clearing out unhealthy work behaviors is their responsibility. Failure to do so is a toxic trait in itself!
We’ll talk about toxic bosses a lot more in this article, but here are a few resources to bookmark if this is an issue you’re dealing with:
Overworking is expected
It’s officially closing time, but your colleagues are still at their desks, working away as the sun goes down.
Or maybe your boss stays late and comes in early and expects the same from you (despite the fact that they make more money than you).
Or, as was the case at one of my old jobs, answering calls on weekends or while on vacation has somehow become normalized.
If there is a big discrepancy between the amount of time you’re paid to work and the amount of time you’re expected to work, that’s a big red flag.
Pointless politics
Office politics can take many forms, some of which seem innocent at first.
But it’s easy for a friendly competition to turn into a ruthless race to the top or an ugly game of favoritism.
And take it from me—it’s all too easy to get sucked into office politics. I’ve found myself wrapped up in cliques and alliances that I never wanted to be in, or indulging in office gossip simply out of boredom.
If I could go back in time, I would run as fast as I could at the first sign of backstabbing or manipulation from colleagues or management. Because once you get tangled up in it, it can be very hard to find your way out.
Gaslighting and false promises
Gaslighting is a favorite tactic of toxic managers and colleagues who want to control you. They will use subtle language and manipulation to make you doubt your own perceptions and reality.
For example, they might dismiss your concerns, downplay your achievements, or blame you for things that aren’t your fault, making you question your competence and sanity.
I’ve experienced gaslighting firsthand. It erodes your self-esteem and leaves you constantly second-guessing yourself. Worst of all, it’s often hard to spot gaslighting until it’s already happening.
Offering false promises is, in my experience, the most common form of gaslighting in workplaces. Bosses and managers will make you think the next raise, promotion, or perk is just around the corner—if only you work a little harder, stay a little later, or suck it up a little more. (Spoiler: You’ll never get there.)
5 steps for dealing with a toxic work environment
Once you start to recognize the signs of a toxic work environment, what should you do? Let’s go through it, step by step.
Step 1. Identify the source of the toxicity
As we explored above, toxicity in the workplace takes many different shapes. To deal with it, you have to know where it’s coming from.
Tracing back the source of toxicity isn’t easy, especially when emotions are running high. Try to step back and take an objective view of your workplace, where you can examine the facts like a detective.
Consider making a list of everyone you work with—people you get along with, people who frustrate you, even people you don’t know well. As you read through their names, consider what role they might play in the negative culture at your workplace.
You can try doing this exercise in your head, but if you choose to write, do not keep these notes anywhere they might be found. Use pen and paper, do it when you’re not at the office, and get rid of the paper as soon as you’re done.
Try to maintain this removed observation over the next few days or weeks. Keep yourself in detective mode, quietly watching how your list of “suspects” behaves.
As you observe, you will discover things you hadn’t noticed before that help you find the source of the toxicity. And a word to the wise—don’t be surprised if it comes from multiple sources.
Example:
You’ve been picking up extra shifts at work, and you’re seeing the signs of burnout in yourself more and more every day. You’re irritated with your managers, who guilt you into coming in. And you’re frustrated with your colleagues, who always seem to be calling in sick for suspicious reasons.
You use the exercise above to step back from your feelings, examining your managers and colleagues one by one to identify the source of the issue.
You realize that one of your favorite managers is actually part of the problem. They’re nice and fun, but also the one who is most likely to beg you to pick up a shift. You also identify two co-workers who have been responsible for the vast majority of your extra time on the clock.
Now that you know who is responsible for the toxicity, you can take the next step to deal with it.
Step 2. Minimize your toxic exposure in the short-term
Now it’s time to take immediate action to limit the direct impact of the unhealthy work culture.
Can you request to be moved onto a different project, or work a different schedule than the colleagues that are exhibiting negative behavior? If so, this might be the only solution you need.
But sometimes, you won’t be able to ask for these concessions or find an immediate solution. If that’s the case, it may be time to start setting clear boundaries—something that’s not easy to do, especially if you’ve never done it before.
Luckily, I’ve got you covered: These articles can help you brush up on your boundary-building skills.👇
Example:
You work remotely for an agency and have noticed a toxic culture of constant negative feedback and unrealistic demands from your manager. It’s affecting your mood and performance, making it hard to stay motivated.
To minimize the impact, you ask to shift your focus to different projects that don’t require as much direct interaction with this manager. You also set boundaries by clearly defining your work hours and not responding to emails or messages outside of those times.
By creating some distance, your workdays become more manageable, allowing you to maintain a healthier mindset while you continue to address the larger issue.
Step 3. Find and align your allies
To effectively deal with a toxic work environment, you need allies: people who can support you and, if need be, stand by you when it comes time to confront the toxic workplace culture head-on.
Look for colleagues who share your concerns and frustrations. These could be people on your team, employees from other departments, or even higher-ups who have shown themselves to be fair and supportive.
It’s important to approach this step carefully and discreetly to avoid escalating the situation.
Consider scheduling informal chats where you can gauge their feelings about the workplace culture. If you sense they’re on the same page, gently bring up your concerns and see if they’re willing to join forces.
Having a group of allies can make a big difference when it comes to addressing toxicity. That being said, you must work hard to avoid letting these conversations slip into negative gossip.
Focus on behaviors and how they impact your ability to work, and avoid personal attacks. Otherwise, you’ll only sink deeper into the toxicity.
Example:
You’re working remotely for a tech company and have noticed a pattern of aggressive behavior from the people who work in the Product department.
You’ve been observing your colleagues, trying to find the source of toxicity, and in the process have noticed that the IT team members are a positive, collaborative, and supportive bunch.
You book a virtual coffee chat with one of the team leaders on the IT team, where you build a connection and eventually feel comfortable voicing your concerns about the Product team’s behavior.
It turns out the IT team leader is well aware of the issues, and knows others in the business who have noticed as well. With your allies identified, you’re now better equipped to handle the toxicity and take the necessary steps to improve your work environment.
Step 4. Gather evidence and build a strategy
This step is most likely going to be the most challenging. Coming up with a strategy to deal with the toxic behavior requires careful planning and a thoughtful approach—rush it, and you could make things worse by escalating the situation or putting a target on your own back.
However you plan to address the issue, you’ll need evidence to back up your case. Document instances of toxic behavior with dates, times, and any witnesses. Emails and messages can strengthen your case and make it harder for others to dismiss your concerns. Be careful to keep your evidence private until you’re ready to present it.
Next, plan your approach. Decide whether to address the issue directly, speak to your manager, or escalate to HR. Whichever path you choose, it’s important to remain calm and collected during the conversation. Practice what you plan to say, focusing on the behaviors rather than the individuals, until you’re fully prepared.
When it comes time to have the discussion, try to bring along one or two of your allies. They can add credence to your case and also act as witnesses to the conversation.
Example:
You have a colleague who consistently undermines you in meetings and takes credit for your work. After documenting these instances and discussing the situation with a trusted coworker, you decide to bring the issue to your manager.
You start creating a log after meetings, documenting instances of the bad behavior. Then you set up a meeting with your boss and calmly explain the situation with specific examples of your colleague’s behavior.
You highlight how it’s impacting your work, and your manager sees it from your perspective. They agree to address the issue the next time it happens.
By building a well-thought-out strategy and presenting your case effectively, you take a significant step toward resolving the toxic behavior, without throwing anyone under the bus or making others defensive.
Step 5. Monitor for improvements and know when to leave
You won’t know whether your strategy for dealing with a toxic work environment was successful until some time has passed.
You need to see whether the people you asked for help will actually act, or whether they were simply placating you. If they do provide support, you’ll still need to watch closely to see if the toxic behaviors actually change, or come creeping back after a short time.
If you’ve taken all of these steps and you’re still dealing with the toxic behavior, then it may be time to pursue work elsewhere. This can be stressful, but we’ve got plenty of resources to help, whether you want to find a new job in the same field or strike out on a different career path.
Dealing with a toxic work environment is tough, but with a strategic approach and support, positive change is possible. Prioritize your well-being, take action thoughtfully, and remember that finding a healthier work environment is always an option. Stay hopeful and focused on creating a better future for yourself.